


(Cookie) Thief

by CoralFlowerDaylight (CoralFlower)



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: (on accident), Angry Morality | Patton Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders is a Good Friend, Deceit's name is Delilah, Gen, Good Deceit Sanders, Minor Violence, Misgendering, POV Deceit Sanders, POV Second Person, Protective Morality | Patton Sanders, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, Trans Character, Trans Female Character, deceit is a woman
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-30
Updated: 2019-05-30
Packaged: 2020-03-30 00:55:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19031440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoralFlower/pseuds/CoralFlowerDaylight
Summary: Patton accuses Deceit of stealing his cookies. Shenanigans ensue.





	(Cookie) Thief

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this a couple weeks ago but ive been saving it. im posting it now cus its been a while since i posted anything and ive been working on the next chapter of my novel but it's not _quite_ ready to post yet. (if you like deceit you should check out [my novel](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16565252/chapters/38814320)! ive gotten a ridiculous number of comments telling me the OCs are good)
> 
> also... this oneshot is in second person because i like writing in second person and i honestly need to do it more often.
> 
> read the tags for warnings, and enjoy!

Patton smiles, just like he always does when things aren’t ideal, and pretends everything is fine.

But you-- you’re tired of doing that. And right now, with Patton caging you in against the counter, smiling that smile, you’re afraid.

“Pa--”

“I didn’t realise we were on first name terms, Deceit,” Patton says conversationally. “How exciting, I love getting to know my fellow mellow fellows--”

“Morality,” you amend, and Patton gets that smug look on his face that no one else ever seems to see.

“That’s right!” he says, with a winning smile. “The quintessential sense of right and wrong! And I say you’re in the wrong here, buddy ol’ pal.” His words are disconcertingly bouncy and cheerful.

You swallow, and try to shove him back, but he’s immovable.

“Don’t touch me,” he says, and you flinch back, shutting your eyes and trying to take deep breaths, because this is terrifying. He’s so close to you. 

“Hey, what’s going on in here?” Virgil says, and you open your eyes to see him, hair messy like he just got summoned, looking at Patton with concern.

“I came down here to put away my cookies, since they’re done cooling off, and I found Deceit trying to steal--”

“I just wanted some breakfast,” you try to say, and Virgil looks between the two of you with a conflicted look on his face. 

“Don’t interrupt me,” Patton says. “It’s rude.”

“More rude than encroaching on my personal space, Morality?” you hiss, heart jumping in your throat when it backfires, and Patton gets up in your face even more.

“Yo, the least you can do is use his name, right Dee?” Virgil says, and you raise your eyebrows at Patton, who just looks at you expectantly, as though he didn’t just tell you--

“My entire gastrointestinal tract itches with this lie of omission you’re telling right now, Morality,” you say, but the sensation is really more like burning than itching. “Care to enlighten Virgil?”

“I don’t want him using my name,” Morality says, and-- _him_. You cross your arms even though you know it’s not Morality’s fault. Virgil glances at you, and for a moment you wish you hadn’t made him keep your secret. But if you’re the only side who’s a woman...

It’s too much pressure. All of this is just too much.

“Morality, I don’t fear for my safety,” you lie matter-of-factly. “And you definitely aren’t giving off pervy vibes right now either.”

Morality draws back in shock, and you take that opportunity to duck out of his hold and take over the center of the room, where there’s no walls for him to corner you against.

“I would _never_ \--”

“I don’t know you!” you exclaim. “How should I know what you would and wouldn’t do?”

Your vision is tunneling, everything but Morality going splotchy black, and the edges of your eye sockets _itch_. You’re so angry you’re shaking. Someone touches your wrist, and you lash out without taking your eyes off of Morality. You hear Virgil gasp, and see Morality’s eyes widen, and then--

You are flat on your back on the ground, and you only see ceiling above you. You blink, and sit up on your elbows to see Morality, arm extended towards you, chest heaving, anger clear in every inch of him.

“Patton,” Virgil is saying. “Patton, it’s okay, Deceit didn’t mean to hurt me--”

“You stay out of this, Virgil,” Morality says. “He--”

“Shut up,” you say, and your voice comes out all wrong, too low, too raw. “Just- just shut up.”

“No!” Morality exclaims. “I am _fed up_ with your shenanigans, Mister!”

Ow.

“I’m fed up with _you_ ,” you say recklessly. “I-- I fucking--” you blink, and-- oh. You’re crying. “I hate you. I h-hate-- I wish you couldn’t see me. I wish you couldn’t talk about me!”

“You wish we couldn’t warn Thomas about you?” Morality asks, vicious, and-- fuck. You didn’t know he had a side like this to him. You’ve never seen him angry.

“Patton--” Virgil says, and Morality makes a frustrated sound and waves his hand in Virgil’s direction, and just that is enough to make Virgil cower. He must be pretty freaked out by the argument already. You sit up the rest of the way, and struggle to your feet. And then, completely ignoring Morality, you cross the living room to make sure Virgil is okay.

“Are you alright?”

“Yes,” Virgil says, and it twists like a nail in your lungs.

“Don’t lie to me,” you say. “Remember-- remember what we promised each other? You can just say you won’t answer if you don’t want me to know.”

Virgil hesitates, and then he sighs.

“It was my own fault though, I shouldn’t have grabbed you--”

“I didn’t ask whose fault it was,” you say.

“‘Lilah--” You tense, and Virgil cuts himself off, then grimaces. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine,” you mutter. “I--”

“Lilah?” Patton says, and you flinch. “Is that your name, Deceit?”

“I thought we weren’t on first-name terms, Morality,” you say, through grit teeth.

“Isn’t that a girl’s name?” says Roman, and you turn, eyes widening, because you didn’t hear him come in. His head is cocked to the side, and his expression is neutral, a sharp contrast to the frown Morality is wearing. He’s... There’s actually a _lot_ of things he isn’t saying. He’s been wondering for a while. He hopes you’ll trust him. He wants to be _worthy_ of your trust.

So you incline your head, wondering if you’re just deceiving yourself, thinking Roman gives a damn about your comfort, and say,

“Yes. It is.”

“A name worthy of a princess!” Roman replies, with poorly concealed excitement. You can’t help preening, just a little bit.

“Don’t make fun of him, Roman,” says Morality, and before you can glare at him for speaking for you and ruining the only good thing that’s happened to you all week, Roman shoots him a wounded look, puts his hand to his chest, and says,

“I would never! I can’t believe you’d hold such an unfavourable opinion of me, Patton. How could I possibly make fun of-- her? Them? Him?”

He looks back at you, and your breath catches, both because of how he’s looking at you and because he’s put you on the spot. And you _can’t_. You aren’t ready.

“What are your instincts telling you?” you say, instead of answering, and Roman frowns.

“Well, you flinch when someone calls you he--” you frown, because you hadn’t realised you were being so obvious about it-- “so my instincts are telling me to use anything but that.”

“Interesting,” you drawl, and you still don’t answer.

“Does this mean I can stop misgendering you when they’re around?” Virgil asks, and you turn to hiss at him wordlessly, like a snake, not a cat. It involves less spitting. “What?”

You stop short, realising that you have no sufficient explanation for your anger.

“Nothing,” you say. “Nothing at all.”

“So can I?” Virgil says, and you cross your arms.

“I don’t know, _can_ you?”

“She’s-- oh fuck yes, finally-- she’s not usually like this, guys, sorry.”

“Wow, liar,” you say, and Virgil snorts.

You turn back to Roman, and wonder if he seriously didn’t stop grinning that whole time.

“You don’t mind, do you, if I keep that title of Princess, right?” you ask, as though you care whether or not he minds.

“Of course not!” he says, bouncing in place, and-- oh. Apparently you did care, because getting his approval feels very very good. You don’t analyse that feeling too carefully. “You’re basically royalty anyway, considering how skilled you are in the imagination, Miss Dragon Witch.”

You stiffen.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Riiight,” Roman says sarcastically.

“Oh!” Morality says, rejoining the conversation. “So you-- you were acting up because we were misgendering you? I’m so sorry! I--”

“No, I was ‘acting up’ because you suck and I’m cooler, smarter, and better than you,” you say, flipping him off with both hands and sinking out into your room, because you’re really pushing your luck, staying so long.

You collapse onto your bed and take deep breaths.

Your secret is out.

You pull one of Patton’s cookies out of your pocket and start munching on it. At least they don’t have your entire name.

**Author's Note:**

> [here's my novel, you should read it](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16565252/chapters/38814320), it has sympathetic deceit and analogical and royality, and im _serious_ about the OCs being good.
> 
> [reblog this post to share!](https://coralflower-ao3.tumblr.com/post/185254638971/cookie-thief) don't worry, most of the fic is under a readmore.
> 
> im also on twitter and tumblr~  
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/coralflower_ao3?s=09)  
> [writing tumblr](http://coralflower-ao3.tumblr.com)


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